What If They Found Out?
by Galadriell
Summary: Just as the title suggest, what if they found out?  Real world meets fan fiction.  Each chapter is a different one-shot, where each pairing finds out about their adventures in FFN.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: With hugs and kisses to **AerynKat**.

* * *

Tom was on the couch, cross-legged with a laptop nested against his legs and a cup of hot chocolate in his hands. He was wafting away the steam as he took sips, glancing at the script once in a while. He had just received it from the writers and wasn't quite thrilled about it sitting in his inbox. He was done with Harry Potter. What more could they want?

Before he could read past the settings and lighting, his doorbell rang just as he got a text. The message read, "Open up" and it was from Dan.

"It's open," Tom shouted out. A crash sounded as the door flew open, nearly causing Tom to upset the drink all over himself. "Whoa! Watch it," he said in alarm.

"Fuck, did you read the script?" Dan asked, skidding to a halt by the fireplace.

"Um… Just getting to it. What's wrong?"

"Don't read it. Don't sign on. Don't do anything!"

Tom looked utterly perplexed now. "Ar – aren't we contractually obligated to…" he trailed off at the look of murder in Dan's eyes. "Why?" he asked.

"It's a damned – I can't believe – ugh!" Dan growled in frustration, wrenching at his hair. Tom's curiosity was piqued and now he _had_ to read this. He scrolled down midway frantically.

* * *

**INT: Sixth floor, Room of Requirements – Night**

Harry shifts away INVISIBILITY CLOAK. He faces the room. PAUSE with hand above handle. NIGHT SOUNDS. Door creaks open, light floods corridor. Silhouette shadow across Harry.

**HARRY**

I didn't know if I should have come  
STAMMERS

Soft light on Draco. Pull into room by HAND. KISS.

* * *

"HOLY FUCK!" Tom yelled, snapping the laptop close and throwing it to the other end of the couch. His expression was not so much horrified as it was surprised amusement. "What just happened?" he asked, a stunned grin on his face.

"You think this is funny?" Dan asked furiously.

"Why the hell do I kiss you?"

Dan pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's the whole damned plot of the bloody story."

Tom was now chuckling behind his hand. "The plot of the story is for me to kiss you?" he asked shakily.

"Apparently so, yes."

"Are they on crack?"

"Seems like they were smoking _something_ when they wrote it."

Tom heard a squeal of tires outside his house, since Dan hadn't even bothered to close the door. Rupert came stumbling in, script in hand. "Mother fucking wankers! What the hell is _this_?" he asked, throwing the script clear across the room.

"I'm sure it's a joke, you guys," Tom said reassuringly, worried about having two murderously angry men in his house.

"Piss ass joke this is!"

Tom rolled his eyes as he got up from his sofa and picked up the fallen script. He put his mug of hot chocolate down so he could flip through it. "Do you guys need a drink?"

"Yes," the men said in unison.

"Hmm…" Tom murmured, walking to his kitchen as he scanned the script.

"What the hell is going on?" Dan asked tiredly as he flopped onto the empty sofa.

"I have no bloody clue," Rupert answered.

"Do they really expect us to do this?"

"Of course not! Like Tom said, it's a joke."

"A joke that damned near gave me an aneurism," Dan muttered viciously.

"I'll help you kill whoever sent us that script."

"I think I have a fair –"

Dan was interrupted with a smash and tinkling of breaking glass, followed by a torrent of swears that could make anyone's ears bleed. He flicked his eyes at Rupert in shock. They scrambled up and ran into the kitchen.

Tom was staring at the script that was now on the kitchen floor atop shards of glass. He glanced up at Dan with bugged eyes. "We have sex…"

Dan staggered back just as Rupert held onto the counter to keep from falling over. "What?"

"We fuck!"

Rupert bent down unsteadily and picked up the nightmare that was lying nonchalantly on the floor. He turned green as he read the lines. "Oh gods," he murmured, swallowing thickly. "They left nothing to the imagination, did they?"

"No, no, no," Dan stuttered, nearly ripping the sheets from his friend's hand. "Oh. My. God." He looked at Tom with terror in his eyes.

The silence was broken as Rupert's phone rang. He dug it out of his jacket and stared at it. "Emma…" He answered it with a push of a button.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SCRIPT?"

Rupert shrugged helplessly as her screeching voice sounded through the phone and into the kitchen.

Dan's phone started vibrating too. He finally broke his gaze from Tom so he could answer his phone. "Hey," he said shakily.

"Dan! Did you read this amazing script?" Evanna asked.

Dan pounded his head against the wall, wanting to sob. "You have to be kidding me, Eva."

"It's like my dream come true! I am so excited to start production!"

Tom's home phone rang obnoxiously. He snatched it from its wall attachments and answered with an angry, "What do you want?"

All he heard was loud laughter and muffled snorts.

"What?" Tom nearly shouted.

"Did you get the script?" Alan asked.

"What the fuck is this shit?"

"They did!" Ralph's excited voice sounded from the background. Alan was laughing even louder now. "I have no idea, Tom!" he said enthusiastically.

"Yeah, laugh it up, why don't you? Did you know Dan and I have sex?"

The laughs stopped in an instant. Tom flinched and bit his tongue. He heard quick shuffling of papers on the other end. It started with a gasp, then a cough, then a snort, then a giggle, until finally it turned into maniacal laughter from both men.

"Shut the fuck up!" Tom shouted over the din as he slammed the phone against the receiver three times. Before he could scream in rage at the unassuming telephone, Dan was dragging him into the living room.

"You have to see this," he said as he pushed Tom into the sofa. Rupert was pacing the length of the drawing room, talking rapidly with Emma. Dan sat down on the coffee table and opened the laptop. He typed rapidly as Tom fidgeted with everything, the cushions, his hair, his shirt, his hands. Dan shoved the laptop onto Tom's lap. "Read."

"Fan fiction?"

"Read!"

"What's Drarry?"

"Fucking read it, Tom!"

"I am, I am," Tom said, scanning the small print on the screen. All he saw were Hogwarts, Quidditch, green eyes, grey eyes, blond hair, scar, hallway, Harry, Draco, kiss, sex…

"What the fuck?" Tom gasped, pushing the laptop away.

"It's everywhere! Evanna told me!"

"They _want_ us to have sex?"

Dan shuddered. "Not us, you dumbass. Harry and Draco."

"Harry and – Drarry? How messed up – what in the world – imagine what Joanne –Christ…"

They stared at each other as the panic slowly dissipated. "Just a joke…" Dan muttered, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths.

"R – right, a joke," Tom said with relief that Dan was finally coming to his senses.

They stared at each other some more. Dan's eyes flicked to the laptop on Tom's lap. He looked back at Tom. Then back at the laptop.

"Wouldn't hurt to take a peek, right?" he asked uncertainly.

"Wouldn't hurt…" Tom said, nodding slowly.

"I mean, it's just fan fiction. Anyone can write fan fiction…"

"Right. Even crazies."

Dan got up and sat beside Tom. He clicked back button. The page moved to search results, over nineteen pages concerning Drarry. "You sure?" he asked, hovering the arrow over the first story on the list.

"No."

Dan pulled away and bit his lip. "We shouldn't…"

"But we could…"

"Right… We could…"

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"Right."

They stared at the screen, as though willing it to make the decision for them. After a minute, it was Tom who plucked up the courage and clicked.

Two hours and five stories later…

"Wow…"

"I know…"

"That was disgusting."

"I know."

"And incredible."

"I know."

Rupert was in shock, so didn't bother getting in a word edgewise.

Dan turned to Tom with shining eyes. "I think I'm in love with Draco now!"

Tom groaned and dropped his head back against the sofa. "And me with Harry. This can't be good…"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Wow, I never realized that some of you might not know what I was talking about in the last chapter.

Tom: Draco Malfoy  
Dan: Harry Potter  
Rupert: Ron Weasley  
Emma: Hermione Granger  
Evanna: Luna Lovegood  
Alan: Severus Snape  
Ralph: Good ol' Lord Voldemort

Better?

* * *

"Damn it, Potter! Get that bloody window fixed."

"Just open it for them."

The moment the window was opened, ten owls flew in and dumped the letters at the foot of the bed. After a loud chorus of hoots, they disappeared out the window.

"I hate mail day with a passion."

"I know…"

Harry rolled over onto his side, trying desperately to open his eyes. After a few tried and failures, he sighed and dumped his arm on Draco's chest. "Morning."

Draco harrumphed drowsily as he pulled Harry in. "Too bloody early to be morning."

"It's seven."

"Still damned early."

"We have work."

"I'm quitting."

"Of course you are."

"So are you."

"No, I'm not."

"We have money."

"So?"

"We don't need to work."

"Do we have to have this talk _every _day?"

"Yes. You might decide to change your mind."

"Not so lucky today."

Draco scowled as he buried his head into the crook of Harry's neck. "You're a prat."

Harry smiled as he sighed into Draco. "Just like you."

Draco smiled as he crept on top of Harry. "So… We have two hours."

"To get ready. Yes, Draco, we have two hours to get ready," Harry corrected while trying to hide a smirk.

"Plenty of time," Draco murmured, smothering Harry with an open-mouthed kiss.

Harry pushed him away. "No, not plenty of time. Another late and we'll be dead meat."

"Fuck them. I want to fuck you," Draco said with a devilish grin that never failed to arouse Harry.

"You sure have a way with words," Harry said, gasping as Draco pushed into him.

"You love it."

"Yeah. Unfortunately."

"Ponce," Draco muttered, nipping Harry's neck and planting a red welt.

"Ow! Draco!" Harry said indignantly. "I can't get that off, you know?"

"Why do you think I do it?"

Harry rolled his eyes as he forcefully pushed Draco away. "I have a meeting and I'm going to get ready for it," he said smugly, pushing his covers away and ducking away when Draco threw his arm out to stop him. "Take care of the mail," he said before he shut the door to their bathroom.

Draco took out his sexual frustration on the door, sticking his tongue out at it. He sat up in bed, letting the covers fall away. He stared blearily at the letters. By 'take care of the mail', Harry meant make them disappear. Fan mail poured in every week and no matter how hard Harry tried to conceal their house from the owls, the letters found their way in. After months of unsuccessful tries, he had decided to just let the owls in and then burn the letters.

Draco pulled his wand out from the bedside table and flicked at the mail. Then he stumbled out of bed in a groggy stupor and was about to make his way to the door when he slipped and fell flat on his back.

"Bloody fuckin' piece of shit!" he cursed as he sat up and found a letter he had slipped on. It was not so much a letter as it was a manila envelope that looked like it contained hundreds of pages. He growled in frustration because he was looking forward to balling it up and lopping it out the window. He grabbed it from the floor and glared at it furiously. Then he blinked.

_To Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy_

_With much love,  
Galadriell_

Draco bit his lip as he ran over the violet script with his fingers. "For me?" he wondered softly. He glanced up at the closed bathroom door for a second, then returned to the envelope. He opened it with a quick rip and dumped the papers onto the floor. Stapled sheets of paper fluttered to the floor. He picked one up.

**Gold Tinted Spectacles by Beren**

"Hmm…" Draco shifted to sit with his back against his bed. And he started reading.

A half-hour later, Harry's out of the shower, hair damp and face flushed. He was privy to this sight. Draco was on his stomach, his elbows propping him up and his chin on his hands. Several papers were strewn around him, some half-opened and others dog-eared.

"Um… What the hell, Malfoy?"

Draco looked up in surprise, his eyes glazed and a smile on his lips. "We got mail…" he said vaguely, dropping his head back down to read.

"What's this?" Harry asked, toweling his hair dry as he walked to the bed. He sat down and picked up a single sheet off of the floor.

**Slytherins are Perverts, but what about Gryffindors? by Faith Wood **

"What the hell?" Harry gasped. It took him no less than five minutes to get through to the end. He looked up with wide eyes at Draco, who was staring at him expectantly. "What's this?"

"I have no clue…"

Harry glanced back at the words in his hands and swallowed hard. "Why am I – and you are – have you – did you read this one?"

Draco held out his hand and the paper was shoved into it. He glanced at the title and his eyebrows shot up. "No," he said pensively.

Meanwhile, Harry picked up a stack and went through the titles, throwing them onto the ruffled bed as he read through.

**Irresistible Poison by Rhysenn  
Seamus Finnegan's Betting Business by The Pirate King of Shipwrecks  
Obscurity of Love by mony2208  
Draco in Darkness by Plumeria**

"Wait, are all of these…" Harry trailed off.

Draco couldn't answer because he was blushing furiously as he read the story in his hands. "Wh – what is this?" he breathed in embarrassment.

"I don't – I have no idea. Where did you get it from?" Harry asked.

Draco waved towards the envelope that was lying innocently against the wall. Harry skirted the multitude of papers to get it. "This was for both of us?" he asked. "Is there a letter with it?"

"I don't know. Couldn't find one in this mess," Draco said faintly as he flicked his ear out of nervous habit. "You – you're so – and I'm all – wow…" He put down the story.

By now Harry was sifting through the stories, trying to locate a letter. "Here it is," he said, snatching the plain white paper off of the rug.

"What does it say?"

_To my dearest Draco and Harry,_

"Um… Should we know who this is?" Draco interrupted, getting off of the floor and moving to stand behind Harry.

"I've never heard of her," Harry said, shrugging.

_Here are a hundred and one stories that I have compiled for your reading pleasure. I hope you put it to good use. We've tried quite hard to make it excellent stories. Most of them will absolutely make you blush. Some might make you cry. A whole lot of them will make you laugh. And all of them are about your love. We have wacky imaginations; don't mind the blurred facts. Just enjoy it as it comes. Have fun!_

_Keep being absolutely and positively dreamy!_

_Galadriell_

"About us…"

"Hmm…"

Draco wrapped his arms around Harry and placed his head against his shoulder, rereading the letter. They stood in the sun for a few moments, letting the stories sink in. "We aren't perverts, are we?" Draco asked without prompt.

That set Harry off into peels of laughter. He turned in Draco's arms and they kissed long and hard. "I love you so much," he declared proudly.

"Oh sure, _now_ you're in the mood," Draco said in sarcasm.

"That story was something else…"

"It sure was," he nodded, staring at Harry.

Harry let his head drop against Draco's chest as his hand slithered lower. "Did you want to…"

"Oh Merlin! Thought you'd never ask."

* * *

Harry let his breath catch up to him as he lay across Draco's chest. All it took was a wave of his hand to let the silk fall off of Draco's limbs. The blond moaned in relief and pleasure as he wrapped himself around Harry and kissed the living daylights out of him. "Fuck, that was hot," he snarled, attacking Harry from all sides.

"I know," Harry panted, his lips moving wherever it felt like running off to.

Draco sighed in content as he held Harry close and rolled him over. A crackle of paper stopped the kisses. Draco opened his eyes and frowned, feeling under him and pulling out the crumpled sheets.

**Dirt by Cheryl Dyson**

He blinked at Harry, who tilted his head and flicked his eyes at the story. They settled against each other, Draco holding the paper steady while they read.

* * *

Their teeth clashed as Harry pushed Draco against the tiles. Sprays of water assaulted them as they thrust against each other. Suds from the shampoo and soap dripped down their bodies as Harry buried himself inside Draco.

"More," Draco gasped, his head slamming against the wall in frustration.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Harry muttered, one hand bringing Draco's leg up while the other pressed against the Draco's shoulder.

"If you weren't such a prude – fuck! Oh god, that was – harder!"

Harry drove into Draco, their chests pressed against each other and their lips tangling with fervor. Draco wrapped his leg around Harry's hips and pushed him in forcefully. Their orgasms ran into each other as they cried out, the hot water exciting them beyond belief. Harry held Draco in place before the latter could drop to the floor. "That was –"

"Marvelous."

"Bloody brilliant."

* * *

**Rough Return by His Spectacles**

Harry held onto the headboard as he bit into his cheek to keep from screaming. Draco pounded into him without restraint. There was no exchange of words. Just animalistic noises and erotic sounds coming out of the men. Harry felt the bruising fingers grasping his hips. He gasped as Draco thrust in a different angle, pushing into his prostate. He came in torrents, loud whimpers escaping him. His body went taut as he clenched against Draco. He nearly collapsed from the climax. Draco wouldn't stop. He wouldn't stop until he was finished. Harry groaned in pain and pleasure as he was pushed to the edge of insanity, or so it seemed.

"I – I can't," he gasped.

"You can."

Harry arched his back against Draco's assault, his walls stretched as his cock twitching for more attention. He felt Draco's pushes growing desperate. He didn't have the energy to thrust back. His prostate was nudged again. This time he screamed without inhibition. Draco joined him a moment later.

By the time Harry came to, Draco was kissing him gently, hands moving against his chest. He kissed back, pressing himself against Draco.

"Did I hurt you?" Draco asked.

"I had two orgasms in five minutes…" Harry murmured against Draco's lips. "It was worth it."

* * *

**Parselmouth by Galadriell**

"Hmm? You think?" Draco asked as he set the paper aside.

_I don't know, maybe_.

Draco gasped and leaned away. Harry leaned forward with a small smirk.

_No?_

He looked mesmerized as he stared at Harry's barely moving lips.

_Oh? Yes it is, then…_

"How are you doing that?" he asked, bringing his fingers up to Harry's mouth.

"Want me to teach you?" Harry asked.

"Maybe," Draco murmured, looking up at Harry's eyes now. "Maybe I do…"

_After this… I'll teach you after this_. He covered Draco's mouth with his own, reveling in the compliant lips.

"I can't believe this is turning me on," Draco whispered.

_I'm so glad it is_. Harry straddled Draco, pinning him against the chair with ease. _I love you…_

"Mmm…"

"I said, I love you."

"Oh, you did? Um… I love you too."

Harry smiled, his lips curling over Draco's ear. _I love you._

Draco shuddered as his fingers dragged over Harry's back. "Me too…" he sighed.

* * *

"I can't get enough!"

"Me neither."

The two were on the bed, under the covers and surrounded by stories. Stories of lust, surrender, escape, love, laughs, tears, anger, magic, and surrealism. Stories from ardent fans and secret admirers. Stories about them.

Draco sighed and rubbed his weary eyes. "You know something?"

"What?" Harry asked, flipping the page.

"After reading these…"

"Hmm…"

"I think I fell in love with you again."

Harry felt a glorious smile grow on him as he turned to glance at his lover. "Draco, that has to be the _most_ romantic thing you have _ever_ told me," he said, resting his head against Draco's shoulder.

"These stories set high standards, huh?"

"They sure do," Harry said, pulling Draco down for a slow kiss.


End file.
